What’s in a name?

Recently I had the pleasure and honor of presenting scholarships to two graduating senior high school students on behalf of the company I work for.  These two outstanding scholars were certainly deserving, and one was the Salutatorian of her graduating class.  As I sat on the stage and listened to other awards being presented, I couldn’t help but notice a very high percentage of non-traditional given names of the students.  My favorite was Toshiba.  She reminded me of one of my first laptops.

Other interesting names of people getting awards included Shenequa, Woodrow, Laquita, Tyshanna, Ta’drien, Devontay and I could go on.

Similarly, I have noticed that my children’s friends have some odd names as well: Gage, Briggs, Kennedy, Breck, Destrey, Kenzington, Garren, Kyler, Draven and I could go on.  And on.

Not to mention some teens and twenty-somethings we know: Skyler, Starling, Utahana, Amberly, Caitlyn, Clayn, Hyacinth, Janny, Leleza and I could go on.

Don’t get me started on alternative spellings.  I know a Hailee, Hailey and a Haley, not to mention a Destiny and a Destinee.

Maybe I know so many people with strange names because I am Mormon.  For some reason Mormons, and especially Utah Mormons seem to pick strange names.

And then there is the tendency for some families to concentrate on a single initial character, like several families we know (for example: Aaron and Autumn had four kids, Andrea, Audry, Anna and Adam.  My Aunt VelDean and Uncle Roy had Jaimee, Jessica, Janelle and Julie).  One family we are friends with named all their kids with the same first two letters (Brock, Breandan, Britt, Brailey).  I have a hard enough time with calling my own kids by their right names without swapping them and their names don’t even sound like one another!  If my kids were named Brock, Breandan, Britt and Brailey I would never be able to call them by the right name.

Even though we both agreed that we would use more traditional names for our children, my wife and I had more than one argument about what we would name each of our children.  Our oldest we named after me, as I am named for my father, his father, and so on.  Our next son, Nigel is named for my best friend.  Emmaline is probably the most non-traditional name (named for a minor character in Lucy Maud Montgomery’s Anne of Windy Poplars), but her middle name is Eileen, named for my mother.  Our youngest child, Maxwell is named for a well respected religious leader and author, the late Neal A. Maxwell.

I have often wondered how much our name shapes who we become.  If I had been named Demetrius, for example, would I behave any different?  Since my given name is Ernest (the 655th most popular boys name in 2005), would I have been any less truthful if my parents had named me Mendacious?  Will my son, Nigel (which means, “dark and swarthy”) become more tan with age?

Maxwell (Left) and Nigel (right)

I came across an interesting website that you can use to see what historically have been the most popular names in the US: http://names.mongabay.com/baby_names/boys250.html.  You might find it interesting to learn that for the last 10 years, Jacob has been the most common boy name each year, while Michael was the most common name each year in the previous 35 years.  Since 2000, the Name Emily has been the most popular each year, while for the prior 15 years it was Jessica.  From 1880 through 1960, the name Mary was the top picked girl’s name each year while that honor rotated between John(1880 through 1920), Robert (1921-1939), James (1940-1954),  and from there Michael and David took turns.

My wife, Rebecca has joked that I should get her name tattooed over my heart.  I told her that doing so would be tempting fate for us to break up (Remember Angeline and Billy Bob’s tattoos?)  If that did happen, I could try to hook up with another Rebecca, just so I wouldn’t have to have it removed.  While the name Rebecca is only the 34th most common female name in 2005, there were over 600,000 women with the name Rebecca in the 1990 census, and there is roughly 130,000 women named Rebecca that are within the ages of 26 and 40 (which is the target age range!).

Maybe I’ll get that tattoo after all!

Caprice Classic

 

For some reason, Americans feel the need to customize their car more than any other country on the planet.  What about Japan, you might ask?  I’ve been there, and they don’t come close to our need to modify, upgrade, customize, tweak, soup-up, pimp and “detail” our rides.  The word “detail” by the way, is a fancy way of saying that you will have someone else wash your car for you.

For some reason, most Americans feel that their car just isn’t good enough the way the design engineers designed it, and the factory assembled it.  This is a phenomenon that transcends race, gender, socio-economic status, geography, education level and income level.  If you don’t believe me that old-money, upper class millionaires don’t do this, then check this out: Forbes list of top cars chosen by Billionaires

Around where I live, the Caprice Classic, manufactured by GM is a fave. 

Whoever Bootwal is, he dropped some serious bank on this 1996 caprice Classic.  Check out the custom upholstery:

I am not sure what “Ant Walker” means, but the red and white are very catchy colors.

Let’s say you are a tall fellow, and that you hate bending down to get in your car.  Certainly a large pickup truck would be an option, but if you really loved the Caprice (or the Pontiac version, the Bonneville), and didn’t want to compromise, this is what you would end up with:

If you have kids, though, you better get a stepladder.

I saw this car at a local lot and was amazed that it was going for only $8,000.  The wheels alone (26” chrome rims) probably cost the owner more than that.

Speaking of kids, if you are really into your kids, and love toy stores, you should go for this look:

Again, stepladder will be needed for your kids to actually get in your car.  Maybe this guy has a rope ladder that unrolls every time he opens the back door so that his kids can climb up.  Sorry for the poor photo quality as I only had my camera phone when I saw these two gems.

People around town call this car the Skittles Car.  Not sure why, but the colors sure do make me hungry for some skittles.

I know that this isn’t a Caprice (it is a Mercury Grand Marquis), but the colors sure look tasty.

And suppose you are a guy who loves both guacamole and station wagons, well you have options, too.

It is a shame that GM discontinued the Caprice in the US back in 1996.  GM will be importing a current-production police version that is currently being produced in Australia in 2011.  I doubt those will be sporting any of the fine mods you see here on my blog, though.  Pity.

Brick and Mortar

In B-school (that’s Business School for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term) we learned about how the Internet has changed forever the business landscape (although there are some folks out there who still think the Internet is just a fad), and also about the concept of “virtual stores” as an alternative to the traditional “Brick and Mortar” stores. 

The concept that was discussed was that for certain goods like electronics, music, videos, etc the consumer doesn’t need to touch, feel, try on the product, and therefore there is little need for actual physical retail locations.  Eliminating the retail outlet saves on all sorts of overhead (rent, utilities, certain liability insurance, etc)

Although it is true that the Internet has killed off a number of traditional “brick and mortar” businesses, I have been pondering other low-cost, non-traditional approaches to selling products other than the internet.  Here are some interesting other alternative, low-tech approaches I have seen lately:

Instead of leasing space for a pet store, why not squat in the Walmart parking lot to sell pets?

Or, another option is to partner with an existing business and sell your products in an existing location.  This is particularly beneficial if you have complementary products or services, like putting a car-rental agency counter in an airport, putting a bank in a grocery store, or selling tobacco products in an insurance agency:

Or possibly heavy machinery and furniture:

Anyone need a good diesel engine to go with your loveseat?

Another low-overhead approach is to build a micro-building (essentially a kiosk):

This approach isn’t just for sno-cones:

Another low overhead approach is to use only the most essential equipment materials. Who needs refrigeration, for example?

River cat fillets anyone?

 

I have a dream… of a double-wide

In the USA we have a type of pre-fabricated housing that is factory-built on wheels and shipped to it’s semi-permanent location via tractor-trailer.  We call them “trailers,” and a neighborhood that is composed of many of these “trailers”  is called a trailer park.  Sometimes these trailers are built in two halves that are each just wide enough to transport on the normal road system and then at their destination they are put back together.  We call these “double-wides.”

When my father was 15 or so, his father retired from 20+ years in the US Navy; his last assignment was in Washington State, on the northwestern tip of the continental US, but he announced to the family, much to their chagrin that they were moving to the Atlanta area where a friend was holding a job as a security guard with Lockheed.  My grandfather thought it was the perfect plan; the rest of the family wanted to stay in the Pacific Northwest.

My grandfather packed up his wife, three kids and the family’s possessions (which included a small motorboat on a boat trailer – see the picture below) and headed south-east for the 2,700 mile (4,200 km) trip to Marietta, Georgia.  On the trip down, Smitty (as he was known to his friends and grandchildren) talked incessantly about how he was going to buy a trailer across the street from the VFW where he would spend his free time drinking himself into oblivion.  In case you don’t know what a VFW is, it is a place where you can buy and consume large quantities of cheap beer.  Smitty wanted to be within walking distance to avoid DUIs.

 

My sister, Christine, my cousin Clair, Smitty and Me circa 1974

My father, being the oldest son begged Smitty to reconsider, and to buy a normal house that would be big enough for two adults, two teenagers and a pre-teen son.  The other family members joined in trying to convince Smitty to buy a real house.  For some reason Smitty had it in his head that he wanted to live in a double-wide.  Apparently years earlier he had stayed in Marietta in an old Navy buddy’s mobile home when he was in town for training.

In the end reason won out, and my grandfather’s dream was put on hold for a few years.  Instead of the trailer, Smitty bought a house and a service station (which happened to be in front of a bar where Smitty would retire to after my dad got home from school and could relieve him of his duties pumping gas, changing tires and other sundry repairs to customers’ vehicles).  That same service station is where my dad learned how to work on cars, a skill that he taught me and a skill that I plan on passing down to my children.

Several years later, however, Smitty and my grandmother, Barbara (more on her later) split up and my grandfather met Val.  (More on Val in another blog.)  Smitty and Val packed up, and moved to Panama City (also known colloquially as “the Redneck Riviera”) where he finally achieved his dream:  Smitty bought a single-wide trailer that was no more than 60 yards from a VFW post.  He found himself a job working as a security guard and parked the little motorboat in back of the trailer beside the above-ground propane tank.  After a couple years, he talked my dad into coming down and helping him add on to the trailer to make it more like a double-wide.

Val and Smitty

We would visit as children in the summer.  The little trailer was right down the road from one of the nicest beaches in the world.  When we would visit, my grandfather Smitty and Val were gracious hosts, but since my grandfather had given up drinking the two of them smoked incessantly.  In fact they had such a phobia of not having a lit cigarette available at any given moment they would light up another cigarette before the last one had finished.  At times there were four or more cigarettes going at one time.  It was like they had installed a permanent fog machine from a nightclub in their front room.  If I ever end up with lung cancer, I will know why.

Eventually Smitty went to that great trailer-park in the sky (kidney failure), and Val followed a few years later.

Strangely enough, my father had different dreams.  He now lives in a gorgeous brick house that is roughly nine times the size of Smitty’s “quaint” trailer.  It sits on an acre lot in a lovely neighborhood with a pool and tennis club.

At least I know that my family has a history of achieving their dreams.

Silly Bandz – The New Global Currency

My kids are going crazy over a new fad that is sweeping our area called Silly Bandz.  Basically, they are rubber bands that have been shaped into all sorts of fun shapes,  including animals, vehicles, letters and other things.  For some reason my kids are nuts for them, and although they are incredibly cheap, they fight over them like they were gold.

Strangely enough, kids at elementary school trade for them, and use them as a currency of sorts.  My son Nigel, who is seven is a shrewd trader.  I call him Johnny Lingo because he can seem to have the ability to trade anyone out of their favorite silly bands.

 Nigel (Right) proudly displays his collection of silly bands

Nigel basically determines which bands a particular kid really wants, and then makes the kid pay two or three to one to get it.  He then goes to other kids and convinces them that they really, really want one that he has.  His collection continues to grow.

Unfortunately, his older brother, Ernie (in the photo above, on the left side) has fallen prey to Nigel’s predatory tactics, and has seen his collection dwindle lately.  Then, Nigel leveraging Ernie’s emotional response to having fewer silly bandz than him talks Ernie into trading away other toys like a $23 transformer.

I am convinced that Nigel has a future in Investment Banking.  I hope he remembers me when he is a billionaire.

Jesus Sells… Birdhouses?

Just as a follow up to my blog from February 27th, I saw this scene on the side of the road and had to take a photo.

I had never seen anything like it!  Although the workmanship was certainly adequate, I couldn’t help but be perplexed at the idea of making birdhouses out of crosses. 

I know that Jesus Christ was the son of a carpenter, but I doubt that he or his father, Joseph ever built a birdhouse.

I couldn’t help but think about the song by They Might Be Giants entitled, Birdhouse in Your Soul. 

“You’ll never know what you’ll find when you open up your letterbox tomorrow.  A little bird never told me anything I wanted to know, she’s my best friend, she’s a sparrow… make a little birdhouse in my soul”

World’s biggest RV park

I live in Southern Mississippi, where the culture has been impacted by hurricane Katrina to such an extent that even six years after the event I still hear people refer to it daily.  People in this area often use Katrina as a common temporal reference point in order to give context when describing an event: it either happened “Before Katrina” or “After Katrina.”

Because of the fact that I was not living in the area when Katrina hit the Gulf Coast, I have a lot of catching up to do when it comes to the local lexicon and common understanding.  There are simply words and phrases I don’t immediately understand because I wasn’t here during the event.

One of those terms that I learned recently was FEMA trailer.  A FEMA trailer is a RV-like trailer that was (and in some cases still is) used as temporary housing until people rebuild their homes lost during the storm.  Some interesting shots of folks living in these trailers can be found here.

There is little doubt that these trailers sure helped a lot of folks when they needed it, but have you ever wondered where they ended up?  I didn’t either, until I saw this on a trip this weekend:

I took this photo at the intersection of MS 589 and I-59 in Purvis, Mississippi.  To put this in perspective, check out this satellite view I found (I added a red box to show the area photographed above:

Now to really blow your mind, I stitched together a series of satellite photos I found using MapQuest.   I have highlighted the area you can see in the photo above with a red box:

It boggles the mind!  Now, consider this:  These trailers cost the US government about $18,600 each!  In all, FMEA bought 145,000 trailers at a total price tag of about $2.7B.

Although $18K per trailer may sound reasonable, it pales in comparison to the $200K+ per trailer that the government paid in some temporary trailer parks to set them up and maintain them.

Don’t worry, though: the Government did recover some of the costs as they auctioned some off for roughly 40% of the amount paid for them when new.  Before you run out and buy one, though, there are some concerns about excessive formaldehyde levels.  If you have already bought yours, don’t worry, FEMA will buy it back from you.